Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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