i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
