life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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