I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
