I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
