You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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