I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
