I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
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I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
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Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize