I seem to have left my pride at pride
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize