if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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