Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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