i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
