Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Randomize
