So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
