Someone shit on the floor
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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