I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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