I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
