I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
