im gay
i know
yea but for you.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
There's a naked man in my car right now.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize
