i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
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