at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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