every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
