So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
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