I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
