Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize