she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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