I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
