Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
