In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
