There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
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