girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize
