He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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