Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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