Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (202): if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think http://tfl.nu/ufei
  Replies (30) Good night (1520) Bad night (1232)
• Favorite

  (806): View more from Texas

  my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (806): my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar. http://tfl.nu/xuyq
  Replies (33) Good night (2808) Bad night (641)
• Favorite

  (515): View more from Iowa

  they need to just BURY HIM!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (515): they need to just BURY HIM! http://tfl.nu/yy9j
  Replies (148) Good night (3803) Bad night (942)
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (973): And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong http://tfl.nu/46jg
  Replies (6) Good night (790) Bad night (2864)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  "I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (440): "I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face." http://tfl.nu/mi59
  Replies (27) Good night (1217) Bad night (4198)
• Favorite

  (906): View more from Michigan

  If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (906): If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her? http://tfl.nu/jtlb
  Replies (10) Good night (3038) Bad night (1491)
• Favorite

  (309): View more from Illinois

  They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (309): They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend http://tfl.nu/32kc
  Replies (2) Good night (2264) Bad night (656)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (619): yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work http://tfl.nu/e66y
  Replies (11) Good night (3915) Bad night (915)
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (770): To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present. http://tfl.nu/n1ow
  Replies (8) Good night (879) Bad night (2369)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (330): The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg. http://tfl.nu/v4p7
  Replies (3) Good night (1297) Bad night (392)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (603): and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks. http://tfl.nu/aapi
  Replies (10) Good night (1027) Bad night (443)
• Favorite

  (318): View more from Louisiana

  Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (318): Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult. http://tfl.nu/kp39
  Replies (6) Good night (1560) Bad night (459)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (847): Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash http://tfl.nu/hj9z
  Replies (1) Good night (514) Bad night (290)
• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (805): I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water http://tfl.nu/4hod
  Replies (3) Good night (1092) Bad night (318)
• Favorite

  (210): View more from Texas

  Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park

  (210): View more from Texas

  Surprise ending

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (210): Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park (210): Surprise ending http://tfl.nu/6dpe
  Replies (2) Good night (533) Bad night (175)

Randomize