my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life