Texts From Last Night

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  (313): View more from Michigan

  White coat. Heels.

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  (313): White coat. Heels. http://tfl.nu/vzw7
  Replies (10) Good night (2182) Bad night (834)
• Favorite

  (586): View more from Michigan

  I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching

  (586): View more from Michigan

  Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)

  (586): View more from Michigan

  It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie

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  (586): I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching (586): Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please) (586): It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie http://tfl.nu/o2c2
  Replies (6) Good night (880) Bad night (1187)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.

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  (619): I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe. http://tfl.nu/jto0
  Replies (24) Good night (4367) Bad night (691)
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  (916): View more from California

  I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here

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  (916): I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here http://tfl.nu/dn5f
  Replies (6) Good night (620) Bad night (2403)
• Favorite

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)

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  (262): Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :) http://tfl.nu/dwum
  Replies (36) Good night (10784) Bad night (998)
• Favorite

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  drunk me is so punny.

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  (803): so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life. (843): drunk me is so punny. http://tfl.nu/qdzv
  Replies (19) Good night (8884) Bad night (1104)
• Favorite

  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach

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  (506): Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach http://tfl.nu/g758
  Replies (14) Good night (848) Bad night (6856)
• Favorite

  (708): View more from Illinois

  sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful

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  (708): sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful http://tfl.nu/0wk6
  Replies (8) Good night (1503) Bad night (3947)
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?

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  (859): How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation? http://tfl.nu/5k7a
  Replies (9) Good night (1626) Bad night (788)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.

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  (619): I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes. http://tfl.nu/rji6
  Replies (10) Good night (1506) Bad night (857)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other

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  (703): Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other http://tfl.nu/yr17
  Replies (1) Good night (1386) Bad night (500)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.

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  (406): Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun. http://tfl.nu/sore
  Replies (1) Good night (883) Bad night (778)
• Favorite

  (515): View more from Iowa

  She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.

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  (515): She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers. http://tfl.nu/t1ua
  Replies (8) Good night (923) Bad night (581)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.

  (1-412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Umm

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  No idea. I blame fireball.

  (1-412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Valid.

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  (412): Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway. (1-412): Umm (412): No idea. I blame fireball. (1-412): Valid. http://tfl.nu/n14x
  Replies (1) Good night (663) Bad night (382)
• Favorite

  (480): View more from Arizona

  It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make

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  (480): It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make http://tfl.nu/me5f
  Replies (2) Good night (543) Bad night (308)

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