she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
You Will Never Meet Anyone More Annoying Than These 23 People
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
These 23 People Prove You Don’t Have To Be A 10 To Be Good In Bed
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary