OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
How does one acquire holy water?
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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