you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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