just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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