you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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