I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
She announced her abortion via fbk
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Panties = found
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
