Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
