i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
