found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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