I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
