Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
This toilet bowl is my home.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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