Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
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