sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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