Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
