Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
