he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
