he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
