So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
