its not stalking. its research.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
