Buhtt sex?
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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