Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I've blown a few things in my day
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
