morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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