Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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