It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize