I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Randomize