I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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