I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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