I am in a vortex of obligation.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
