Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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