And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Randomize
