Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
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