U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
