your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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